Does it seem that all of a sudden your parents are on your case 24/7? That they've become overprotective, less likely to trust you, and way tougher on you than they are on your brother? Well, we hope it helps to know that you're not alone. Your parents are watching you more closely. The world you live in is much more dangerous than the one they grew up in. They have had the experience of living through some of the bad things they are trying to shield you from. That said, it's totally normal for you to disagree with them...and for them to put too much pressure on you.
Teenagers and their Parents—Why do parents put so much pressure on their teens?
As far as school is concerned, no one wants you to succeed more than your mom and dad. They believe that hard work, lots of studying, dressing in a certain way, going out for certain activities, even having certain friends will lead you to a richer life. Right or wrong, they can't help feeling that your success is a measure of their success.
Teenagers and their Parents—Why do they worry so much?
Because you're spending more and more time with your friends, surfing the Internet, reading emails, going to the movies, choosing your own clothes, and listening to music, they worry that they've lost touch with what you're thinking. They hear all the stories about the sex and drugs and alcohol lying in wait to tempt you, and they want to make sure you stay safe. Be patient. Try to imagine how tough it is for them to understand your world. It doesn't mean you can't hold on to your opinions, even if you have to follow their rules.
Teenagers and their Parents—How can you get them to listen to you?
There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with your parents. In fact, it's a necessary part of establishing yourself as a separate and unique person. If you accepted everything they said without question, who would you be? Success lies in how you get your points across. Let them know that pressuring you only makes you feel more stressed out. If you can't seem to get your ideas across by talking to them, try writing or sending an email. Sometimes, giving them the time to think about what you have to say can make all the difference.
Teenagers and their Parents—Why are you parents more lenient with your brother?
Parents are not the only ones who treat girls and boys differently. Teachers, coaches, relatives, and most of society agree that girls are more vulnerable. Girls do develop more eating disorders. They are more likely to experience depression. They are more affected by the consequences of sexual activity. They are more often the victims of abuse. Make sure your parents see that you understand the dangers. Listen to their reasoning, and compromise. Be open to letting them know where you are and who you're with.
Teenagers and their Parents—What can you do to convince them you can make your own decisions?
Even if you don't quite buy that their fears are legitimate, the best way to get your parents to be less protective is to ask them for a chance to show that you are responsible and can make safe decisions. Assure them you will ask for help if you are not sure about what to do. Show them you are thoughtful and mature by letting them know that you respect their advice and guidance. Working with them rather than against them will lead to a happier you. Just remember to keep your word.