Teenage Domestic Violence Dear BeingGirl Experts , I heard that girls can tell that their boyfriends are abusers because they do things that eventually lead to the violence. What kinds of things are they talking about? I would just get out of there if it were me! Curious --- Curious, Understand the abuse “victim” is not to blame. When her boyfriend begins to show these traits she doesn’t know these are signs he will be abusive. When you look at an abusive situation in a relationship, there is a tension-building stage. During this time, abusers can be moody, isolating, using alcohol or drugs, or criticizing. These behaviors lead into a dangerous explosive stage, when hitting, name-calling, choking, kicking, rape, or other violent events can occur. When this ends the honeymoon stage follows. This is a time when an abuser may apologize, seek counseling, declare love, or other actions to regain their grasp upon the victim/survivor. Remember the “victim” is not to blame for an abusive boyfriend, Your BeingGirl Experts Questions about teenage domestic violence? Get answers and helpful advice at BeingGirl.com.