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Added August 01, 2013

Sibling Rivalry

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"He started it!" "Get out of my room!" "She's touching my stuff!" Sound familiar? What about, "Why can't you be more like your sister?" Not that it helps matters much, but sibling rivalry has been around since the beginning of time. Just when all you want is to be appreciated, you have a fierce competitor sleeping in the bedroom down the hall.


It's common to have sibling rivalry, especially if they're the same sex and close in age, than the other way around. Almost 80% of us grow up wrestling and trading noogies with at least one brother or sister. Siblings are the first peers we live with on an intimate basis. Although it's one of the most emotionally significant relationships we will ever have, like most of the worthwhile things in life, it's not easy.


Why all the trouble? Well, some wise man once said quarrels would not last long if the fault was only on one side. Sibling rivalry is part of the family package. It begins with the roles our families assign us: the pretty one, the smart one, the responsible one, the "good" one versus the “bad” one, the sloppy one, the forgetful one, or the lazy one. The labels not only pit kids against each other, they become the foundation of how we define ourselves. Each title comes with its pros and cons. If you are the rebel and your sister is the "good" one, you probably envy the love and approval she receives, and she's probably jealous of your freedom. The kid with the problem gets more attention. The kid who does everything right feels overlooked.


So what can you do? The suggestions might appear simple, but they work when dealing with sibling rivalry.

  • Encourage your parents not to take sides when you disagree with your sibling. It's not their business to find out who is at fault or to choose who is the guiltier party.
  • There's nothing wrong with being angry and saying so about your sibling rivalry. State what's on your mind and tell your sibling how you feel about sibling rivalry, even if it's "I hate you." Then try to come up with what can be done to resolve the argument. Try not to be hurtful or to attack. Because you understand your siblings better than probably anyone else, you have the ability to hurt them more deeply than anyone else. "You're fat," or "You're ugly," are criticisms that will never promote healing.
  • Don't let the fight fester with your sibling rivalry. You have to let go of the concept of revenge, even if it's justified. Most times when you no longer have to share space, arguments become a lot less frequent. Unfortunately, when sibling rivalry is really bad as teenagers, bad feelings can carry on long after you've left the house and become an adult. No sibling rivalry is worth turning a brother or sister into your enemy.


Positive sibling relationships can be a source of strength for life, while unsolved sibling rivalry can cause wounds that never quite heal. While we all inevitably have differences of opinion, taste, and style, brothers and sisters can provide us with support, encouragement, friendship, and camaraderie throughout our lives.

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pink cats and fluffy chinchillas
pink cats and fluffy chinchillas
Posted July 04, 2013
I wish i could find somthing for my cousins THEY ARE SOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANNOYING
Posted August 24, 2012
My sister will always be their little princess :(. She is a girly girl and I am a tomboy. I always have to be judged for refusing to dress girly and wear make-up. Point is I refuse to be someone fake and I get judged because of that
Posted June 18, 2012
i have 4 brothers they range from age 7-18 i have no sisters and my brothers are really annoying most of the time and we fight and they call me fat and stupid and tell me i sing bad (cause i like to sing)my oldest brother calls me fat or slaps me but when i do something to him i get in trouble and he never does P.S i am the one who always helps around the house to clean and do chores PLEASE HELP ANY MORE ADVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted June 14, 2012
I'm the most picked on one in my family. I sort of consider myself a punching bag. They tell me I'm fat and ugly (and my brothers favorite is to call me "hippopotamus") and if I do anything back then I just get lectured, so let them kick and hit and punch me and show no emotion and usually works. For anyone that can't get they're sibling to stop testing them, just walk away an tell your parents. If they tell you to just ignore it, do that exactly. But if your sibling I like my sister, who calls you fat and ugly whenever they get a good chance, well, good luck and try not to cry yourself to sleep, lol
Posted June 06, 2012
my parents got a divorce and my daddy got engaged to a girl with 2 boys and they had a lil girl together but i used to b a big time daddys girl and we wud do anything together. but get this im not jelous of my siblings its my stepmom she took over my dad and the only alone time we have now is in the car on my way to school and im realy depressed about it plesse help me
Posted May 24, 2012
I have a really hard time with my siblings since I am the oldest. But I am also always the "good girl" because my parents trust me not to lie or start hitting siblings. I am also kinda the favourite because I do all the helping and chores. They don't play favourites but I am the most appreciated.
Posted May 11, 2012
i used to be my dads fav girl becuz my older one was really disrespectful to my parents. but when my mom had an other baby girl i became really jelous becuase all they would talk about is her and would buy her alot of things but now i still dont get along with her we always fight with each other. but really deep down i love my lil sis
Posted December 31, 2011
im the only girl out of 3 boys im also the youngest so u might think i get the most attention well one off my brothers is really good at football so its all about him another one of my brotherws gets all the attention cuz he can fix anything and then there is me who is know as the disapointment in the family
Posted December 31, 2011
That rarely happens, we all forgive each other in the end, there is nothing to worry about
Posted November 29, 2011
I worry that when we get older, my sibling and I will no longer talk to each other because of our relationship now... Any advice?
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