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Added April 23, 2014

Setting Boundaries

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You were probably taught as a kid to never go along with any kind of sexual pressure and told that setting boundaries can help in these situations. That you should say "no" or walk away from situations that don't feel right to youno matter how reassuring or pushy the other person is.

 

Well guess what? Setting boundaries is the golden rule in sex and relationships for the rest of your life. If you don't want to do something, if you feel pressured, or if you think something doesn't feel right, then you should say, "No," loudly and clearly. This will set boundaries for your partner. That includes everything from NOT kissing a guy just because he wants to kiss you to not giving in to sex just because you feel pressured. Tell an adult that this is happening and keep telling until someone listens.

 

Why should you practice setting boundaries? Because sex, romance, and love are wonderful parts of life, but only if you learn about them at your pace. If you betray yourself by not setting boundaries you may carry around bad feelings for a long time, and you may have trouble feeling good about love and sex in the future.

 

Other Sources of Pressure
You might think that we only feel "sexual pressure" from someone else. But we also feel pressure from ourselvesfrom our own desires, our own curiosity, or the excitement of doing something new or of rebelling.

 

And we feel peer pressure. You may think you're over that, but studies show that what we decide to do or not do sexually is most influenced by what we think our peers are doing. Just be aware of that fact and try very hard to be true to yourself, even if that is not the "cool" thing.

 

As for the pressure we feel from our own desires and curiosity, those feelings are fine, too, but we can't just act on our desires all the time. Think, and weigh what's right for you in a given situation. And for you, that may include moral and religious considerations. It should definitely include thinking about the consequences of your actions and being responsible for others as well as yourself.

 

Setting Boundaries for YOU
Decisions about sex and relationships are complicated because humans are complicated. One of the most difficult things in life is trying to understand ourselves. So often, girls decide to go ahead with fooling around or having intercourse instead of setting boundaries. Counselors talk with teenage girls all the time who do stuff to be "popular," to be liked, or hoping to find love. A lot of times these motivations result in disappointment and hurt.

 

The bottom line is: Be true to who you are by setting boundaries, make decisions that feel right for you, and act out of your own needsnot someone else's.

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337
comments so far
Diver
Diver
Posted April 19, 2014
I don't know how I feel about this, but I really want to wait for my first time... Honestly ;)
MsQuestions
MsQuestions
Posted April 14, 2014
good advice
Msshanaynay1014
Msshanaynay1014
Posted March 29, 2014
I've been thinking about getting intimate with one of my friends (aka. Friend with benefits) but I'm scared if he back stabs and tells everyone about us. What do I do? Please help thanks c: I'm 14 btw
lexiemoore
lexiemoore
Posted March 29, 2014
my parents think that you get preg from the 1st time and thats not true and i really want to have sex plz help me
hotpinkcow
hotpinkcow
Posted March 29, 2014
All done
hotpinkcow
hotpinkcow
Posted March 29, 2014
Best memory so far. It was great.
horseslove
horseslove
Posted November 10, 2013
SparklyTaco - It really is your choice,i first it when i was 19, but i was not presurred, if you are presurred dont!
Jdjshzjsuzuzjebgduidjd
Jdjshzjsuzuzjebgduidjd
Posted August 09, 2013
I'm not gonna have it until I'm married. I'll French kiss though!;)
madrose4803
madrose4803
Posted March 01, 2014
I thought it wasn't legal (or, like, normal or right idk) to have sex until youre 16 years old? either way the first time I do my moms gonna FREAK sooooo not gonna be for awhile
twitterlover123
twitterlover123
Posted September 03, 2013
if anyone has any questions ask me :D
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