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Added April 23, 2014

Setting Boundaries

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You were probably taught as a kid to never go along with any kind of sexual pressure and told that setting boundaries can help in these situations. That you should say "no" or walk away from situations that don't feel right to youno matter how reassuring or pushy the other person is.

 

Well guess what? Setting boundaries is the golden rule in sex and relationships for the rest of your life. If you don't want to do something, if you feel pressured, or if you think something doesn't feel right, then you should say, "No," loudly and clearly. This will set boundaries for your partner. That includes everything from NOT kissing a guy just because he wants to kiss you to not giving in to sex just because you feel pressured. Tell an adult that this is happening and keep telling until someone listens.

 

Why should you practice setting boundaries? Because sex, romance, and love are wonderful parts of life, but only if you learn about them at your pace. If you betray yourself by not setting boundaries you may carry around bad feelings for a long time, and you may have trouble feeling good about love and sex in the future.

 

Other Sources of Pressure
You might think that we only feel "sexual pressure" from someone else. But we also feel pressure from ourselvesfrom our own desires, our own curiosity, or the excitement of doing something new or of rebelling.

 

And we feel peer pressure. You may think you're over that, but studies show that what we decide to do or not do sexually is most influenced by what we think our peers are doing. Just be aware of that fact and try very hard to be true to yourself, even if that is not the "cool" thing.

 

As for the pressure we feel from our own desires and curiosity, those feelings are fine, too, but we can't just act on our desires all the time. Think, and weigh what's right for you in a given situation. And for you, that may include moral and religious considerations. It should definitely include thinking about the consequences of your actions and being responsible for others as well as yourself.

 

Setting Boundaries for YOU
Decisions about sex and relationships are complicated because humans are complicated. One of the most difficult things in life is trying to understand ourselves. So often, girls decide to go ahead with fooling around or having intercourse instead of setting boundaries. Counselors talk with teenage girls all the time who do stuff to be "popular," to be liked, or hoping to find love. A lot of times these motivations result in disappointment and hurt.

 

The bottom line is: Be true to who you are by setting boundaries, make decisions that feel right for you, and act out of your own needsnot someone else's.

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comments so far
kaitlyn1012
kaitlyn1012
Posted July 24, 2014
Well that is some good advice and I wil set so.e boundries
Toot toot
Toot toot
Posted June 23, 2014
African pink you can be wrong the person that you love and got married to You and then you have it and got kids but then you guys have fights and then you get abused by him then you get a divorce then you tell you self that you got the wrong man.
AFRICANpink
AFRICANpink
Posted June 16, 2014
@lexiemoore,don't do it girl,who knows maybe the person you had sex with will end up leaving you.Its best if you wait until the day you'll do it with the right person that will never leave you no matter what also your parents knows the best for you so always obey them.
AFRICANpink
AFRICANpink
Posted June 16, 2014
@adrixoxo.I once had a crush on a guy that i was a year older than,so its normal when you like a girl likes a guy she's older than,that's why they say love is blind
GirlyGirl126
GirlyGirl126
Posted June 16, 2014
hey, hotpinkcow, i wanted to know how did it feel did it hurt im not gonna have sex until im 20 but wanna know :)
Diver
Diver
Posted June 07, 2014
Yes I agree with you | v You never know the future! :P
Cookiexox
Cookiexox
Posted May 30, 2014
@Msshanaynay1014 my best advice to you is just not to do it. 14 is way too young. The term 'friends with benefits' shouldn't even be relevant in your life right now. Just enjoy being young, you have plenty of time for this later in your life. Trust me, I have friends who have TOTALLY regretted taking things too far (I'm also 14 btw). Please make the right choices :)
MsQuestions
MsQuestions
Posted April 14, 2014
good advice
Diver
Diver
Posted April 19, 2014
I don't know how I feel about this, but I really want to wait for my first time... Honestly ;)
Adrixoxo
Adrixoxo
Posted May 12, 2014
help i like a boy in 4 grade but i am in 5 grade HELP
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