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Added August 01, 2013

Long-Distance Relationship Advice

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You start to say your goodbyes, and you feel the lump in your throat grow larger. Your stomach is in a knot. Who knew that when you met in camp or on vacation or last year when graduation felt like it was years away, that this wretched day would come. The fact that you won't see him for months is tearing you up inside. When you wake up tomorrow, he'll be hundreds, maybe thousands of miles away. Welcome to the world of long-distance romance where you will look for long distance relationship advice.

 

When the time comes to bid farewell to your boyfriend, it's not surprising you feel nowhere near ready. Just because he's far away, doesn't mean you're not thinking about him all the time, wanting to talk to him, and wanting to see him. Because you care deeply about each other and feel sincerely committed, you resolve to try and make it work. In this day and age, communicating is a cinch, you think. Instant Messaging, email, cheap airfares, phone cardsif you really make an effort and listen to good long-distance relationship advice, maybe staying in touch won't be so hard.

 

If you think about people you know, you'll realize that some long-distance relationships do really work. Some couples date in high school, go to separate colleges, and then end up together. Some couples meet in a summer resort and start dating, but visit each other frequently throughout the year and manage to keep it together.

 

So what is the secret to staying together? Although there's no guaranteed answer, here's some long-distance relationship advice to think about if you're deciding whether to give it a go.

 

Long-distance relationship adviceBe realistic about your feelings for him and vice versa

 

Long-distance relationship adviceHow strong is your connection? 

For most guys, a strong relationship base is important. How long have you been dating? How close do you feel to one another? Are you equally involved in the relationship? Try to look beyond what he's saying and pay attention to how he's acting, leading up to when you're going to part. Does he talk about the future and about when you're going to see each other again, or does he just mention it here and there?

 

Long-distance relationship adviceIs your long-distance relationship fact or fantasy? 

How often do you contact each other? Does he call you as much as you call him? Who initiates the emails, you or him? Some guys are honest about cutting off a relationship if they start feeling distant, or if they want to start dating someone else. But some guys are NOT. So you have to be prepared that what you're imagining him doing, for example, sitting home on a Friday night mooning over you, may not actually be what's happening.

 

Long-distance relationship adviceFacing the challenge, anticipating the obstacles

 

Long-distance relationship adviceThe pain of saying goodbye.

The first time you say goodbye to your boyfriend is only the first of many. Be prepared to relive the ordeal every time you visit each other. Beth, who only saw her boyfriend every other weekend because he lived a few hours away, would cry every time after he left. Jenna saw her boyfriend every couple of months, and when he left, it took her a few days to stop feeling sad. Long-distance relationships can be emotionally draining, so you must decide if you're up for the heartache.

 

Long-distance relationship adviceThe importance of seeing each other as often as possible.

Phone or email can keep you connected, but seeing each other's face means oh-so-much more, especially for boys. For most guys, closeness comes from shared experiences. For girls, intimacy comes from conversation. When you're talking on the phone, you may feel close, but unfortunately, it's another one of those Mars/Venus deals. With some young men, out of sight means out of mind.

 

Long-distance relationship adviceMake sure you're clear on the terms of your relationship.

Are you fully committed and exclusive? Are you still together but are seeing other people? Are you going to tell each other if you're seeing someone else? Talking this out beforehand will make it easier to handle the situation if it arises later on.

 

Long-distance relationship adviceFinally, make sure you don't start living the life of a hermit when he's not around.

Is your relationship making you miss opportunities, social or otherwise? Do you not go to that party and just stay home and paint your toes because, hey, your friends are just going to meet guys and you've already got a guy? If your friends are going to the movies on Saturday, do you stay around, just in case he calls? Don't stop your life because you've got a boyfriend. Whether or not it works out with the two of you, being miserable will never increase your shot at happiness.

 

No relationship is easy, even if your boyfriend lives next door! Go with your gut. If you feel this relationship is strong enough to handle the burdens imposed by being apart, then try to make it work. But make sure to be realistic and remember our long-distance relationship advice. Only honesty, combined with your love and commitment to each other, will bring you the healthy relationship you deserve, no matter how many miles separate you.

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natasha981
natasha981
Posted March 29, 2014
I'm 16 a sophomore in high school and he's 18 a junior in high school we met online he's in California and I'm in Connecticut and we've been together for two years and my friends have given me the speech "your not in a real relationship because you cant see each other or touch each other you will never see them" and I don't pay attention to them none of you girls should either if you believe in the love and commitment in your relationship you will see your love one day. Just like I will even though we're half way across the world. There's a couple who totally make it work the woman was in Thailand and the man was in Texas them met accidentally through an e-mail so if they can we can.
Nikkigurl_2
Nikkigurl_2
Posted March 05, 2013
I am a Junior in Highschool and he is a Senior. We currently live in Tennessee, but he has already been accepted to UCF and is leaving the DAY after his graduation. It's going to be tough, but we're strong and I believe we'll make it through this. We'll be together a year in May.
ammsatin
ammsatin
Posted January 08, 2013
So, I'm a Sophomore in High School, and my boyfriend's a Senior, and after this summer, he's going out of state for college. His family might be moving after this year as well, so he won't be able to come up to see me very often. Talking is great, but it's going to be so hard to not be able to see him for so long. Just going two weeks is hard enough...
Clara<3's_you
Clara<3's_you
Posted September 22, 2012
So, this is a great, but not very helpful to me. I met my boyfriend online, I live on Oregon, and he lives in Ohio. I'm 14 and he's 16 so we can't exactly travel to see each other. We were best friends before we started dating, so we're really close. But we still want to see each other. How can we do that?
florida.gurl.luv.122
florida.gurl.luv.122
Posted January 05, 2012
im 13 and my bf is 12 i live in ohio and he lives in florida he does not have a phone or email how can we go on unless i see him in the summers
Sjmxoxo
Sjmxoxo
Posted January 22, 2012
This may not be a really "long distance relationship" but it definitely feels that way in more than one sense. He's 18, I'm 17, but he's a freshmen in college and I'm a junior in high school. His college is over 2 hours away, and it feels so difficult to stay connected. Even though phone calls, emails, quick good morning texts, and webcam chats are wonderful, I feel like I'm being too clingy, and maybe holding him back from his friends, as well as stopping my life just to talk to him. And then theres the fact that he just doesnt seem to talk to me about anything. I have no idea what his friends or classes are like because he barely talks about it, even when I do ask him, its just simple answers. Any advice on how to make this more balanced?
BlackLynxTsukiyomi
BlackLynxTsukiyomi
Posted December 24, 2011
I live in Oregon and my boyfriend lives in Oklahoma. How on earth are we supposed to see each other often? We're 13 and have no way to actually meet up unless it's for the summer. This article didn't really help.
Musicfreakjg101
Musicfreakjg101
Posted January 05, 2012
Me and my boyfriend met on a chat, he lives in Iowa and I live in New Jersey. We've been together for twooo years and we've been starting to pay visits just so he can come here, everything works out fine as long as you just keep in contact and keep the bond strong. <3
MKS
MKS
Posted July 07, 2011
Okay..... So my boyfriend is getting ready to go to basic trainin to become a Marine.He will be gone for 3 months. I'm happy for him, but I'm going to miss him sooooo bad... I don't want him to leave.. I really hope that he writes me letters. Any suggestions on how to get through the 3 months without feeling sad all the time???
lollipopfortress
lollipopfortress
Posted May 26, 2011
My boyfriend lives an hour away. We see eachother all summer while were in plays together in my town. But we miss eachother constantly and we dread the end of summer. Last summer I broke up with him because I couldn't handle a long distance relationship but now I can. I just hope it works. By the way, this article did not help. :/
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