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Added November 08, 2012

Keeping A Secret

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Let's be honest: We love to know things that others don't. Secrets are a fact of life. The problems occur when keeping a secret becomes challenging. A recent study found that four in 10 women had trouble keeping a secret, no matter how personal or confidential the news was. And two-thirds ended up feeling guilty after spilling the beans.

 

When someone tells us something in confidence, it's because he or she trusts us enough to listen and keep our mouth shut. When we don't, trust is lost. Part of growing up is learning to distinguish the times when revealing information makes you a snitch from the times when telling a secret (such as when a friend's health and safety is at stake) might be the right thing to do.


Keeping a Secret
Why do people keep secrets?
People may worry that if certain information is known, they will be judged or looked down upon or that someone will use that information against them.

Keeping a Secret
Is there a difference between a good secret and a bad secret?
Yes. A good secret is not harmful to you or anyone else. Examples would be keeping a secret about an upcoming surprise party or a wrapped Christmas present. All kinds of personal information including passwords, address and phone numbers when you're online should remain private. A bad secret might concern a friend or family member who is in trouble and risking her health and safety. Whether it's drug-related or bad-crowd-related, those secrets that make anyone feel scared, uncomfortable, sad, or angry should be shared.

Keeping a Secret
How can you do the noble, trustworthy thing when keeping a piece of juicy information to yourself is so hard?
You'll quickly get a reputation as a gossipmonger if you start talking bad about others behind their back. If you get into this habit, chances are you are going to blurt out someone's secrets. Fight the urge to spill. Walk away, bite your lip, or change the subject. Think of yourself as a loyal and trustworthy person.

  • Tell a white lie if you have to. Try to forget about the secret. The less it's on your mind, the easier it is when keeping a secret.
  • Talk about the secret with the person who told it to you. Discussing it should help quiet the urge to share it with others.


Keeping a Secret
What if you blurt out a friend s secret?
Apologize. No excuses. Nothing beats sincerity. Even if you're being yelled at, try not to lose your temper. Take the blame, say you're sorry, and learn from the experience never to make the same mistake again.

Keeping a Secret
Can keeping a secret be bad for you?
Yes. Keeping a secret can cut you off from others. If you have to keep a difficult secret for a long time, it can provoke anxiety and worry. Living with these emotions can lead to stress, which can lead to stomachaches and headaches.

Sometimes with secrets there are no easy answers. Part of growing up is making that hard decision to keep silent. But that hardship is important in helping us define who we are and what we believe in.

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1DirectionInfectionWithALittleLukeBryan
1DirectionInfectionWithALittleLukeBryan
Posted May 09, 2013
I agree, I'm not a drama fan. I hear it and laugh my head off, then life goes on. I often hear rumors about me but then I think "Yay!! I love that rumor starter! They have given me a chance to see my real friends, and to see my fake ones that will not stand behind me." I think that because I know people who really know who I am would know whether it's a true or fake rumor. Rumors are started by fools, accepted by haters and spread by idiots and true friends won't even realise there was a rumor about you, because they wouldn't be the ones starting it! :)
The Amazing Googley Bear
The Amazing Googley Bear
Posted April 29, 2013
i hate huge drama. what about u? recently i was the center of a huge drama and it was a PAIN IN THE BUTT!!! only everyone was on my side so it wasnt too bad
chuckh21
chuckh21
Posted February 25, 2013
I have found out that the people who have been sending the texts are my bestfriends... I don't know if I should let them go or forgive them for scaring me like that... Help?
chuckh21
chuckh21
Posted February 17, 2013
I dont think this has nothing to do with this but.. My friends and I have been getting really strange Texts from this person... They have been saying things like "Do this and I hurt you" or "want to play my game?" I need advice and some help. I dont have the guts to tell my parents...
Samieflower
Samieflower
Posted April 16, 2013
you have to be honest to your friend when you say that you will not share a secret.
Emkinz:D
Emkinz:D
Posted February 25, 2013
chuckh21 2 words for ya girlie: TELL SOMEBODY!!! (ASAP!)
Coalie
Coalie
Posted January 04, 2013
I remember when I was in the sixth grade, one of my close friends broke three of my deep secrets in a row. I broke my heart! I was hiding myself in my room watching movies, crying, and covering myself in blankets for days. The sad thing is though, she never apologized. She still seems like she wants to be my friend. Should I let her?
Arthritisisablessing
Arthritisisablessing
Posted February 17, 2013
RAINBOWGIRL11, just say this, "Look. I know your mad at me and you don't trust me, and I take full responsibility for that. I'm sorry. You don't have to be my friend, but don't give me the cold shoulder." I think you should stop trying to be her friend. If she wants to be your friend, then she'll come to you. I never really had any friends. Just focus on school and stuff. Walk confidently with your head up and don't look weak. People will want to be your friend. Trust me.
Arthritisisablessing
Arthritisisablessing
Posted February 17, 2013
COALIE, I think you should say you forgive her, but don't tell her anymore of your secerets. I would just say, "I forgive you," but I wouldn't necissarily call her my "friend".
rainbowgirl11
rainbowgirl11
Posted January 13, 2013
i once told somebody my friends secret and she is still is mad at me it happened in forth grade and i am in sixth grade and she never forgave me even though i begged her still to this day she never talks to me and she did everything with me now she hates me my life sucks i have like no friends i have 1 1/2 because one is mad at me thats why i said 1/2.
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