How To Get Over A Breakup
Dear BeingGirl Experts, I was in my first serious relationship about 8 months ago, and I'm still having problems dealing with things. We were always together and after our first 2 months his best friend died, and I was with him even more. After this he cheated on me with my friend, and then he dumped me for my other friend 2 months later. He wanted me back and it's never worked out one day he'll be the nicest to me and then the next he's a jerk. I don't know how to get over a breakup. Colleen --- Dear Colleen, Relationships are quite different, but breakups are similar. You need to take control of the fact you are no longer in the relationship and heal, so you can figure out how to get over the breakup. A breakup temporarily robs you of a sense of control over your day-to-day life. No matter whose idea the breakup was, it leads you to some form of grief. The stages of this type of grief are: Denial, when you are saying we aren't over yet. Depression, when you are saying that you will never find anyone like him or her again. Bargaining, when you are trying to decide if you can work it out and still go out. Anger, when you realize this is fine and you don't want him or her either. Acceptance, when you realize and accept the relationship is over.
How long it takes to get through these stages varies. What’s important is to get through them. Don't get into the "I should have...if only I had...I would have...I could have" way of thinking because this is unhealthy thinking. Here are a few tips on getting over a breakup: Fill your free time wisely. (Don't call his house 10 times a day just to see if he answers or check his face every half hour to see if he has post anything new. Stop wallowing even if you have to fake it. Get out with your friends, read a book, throw yourself into schoolwork, clean your closet, or try a new sport. Talk it out with your friends and family. Don’t overburden them with your talk though—in other words, stop obsessing! Get rid of everything that reminds you of him. Don’t hide it—get rid of it! Put your pain in perspective. Watching the news can do wonders to make you realize how lucky you are. Start a journal. If writing one isn't your thing then try an audio journal. Exercising will help you with an endorphin rush to feel good. Go to the gym or go for a walk. Moving helps!
If a month passes and you aren't able to concentrate on schoolwork, or you are eating too much and not getting along with family and friends, then it is time to talk to a trained counselor. Good luck, Your BeingGirl Experts
Learn how to get over a breakup with helpful tips and advice from BeingGirl experts.