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Added August 01, 2013

Can You Really Have Guy Friends?

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If you're not a tomboy, or interested in the friends with benefits thing, can any of the guys you know be real guy friends to youguy friends without the sexual tension? Maybe you know a girl who conquered the men are from Mars, women are from Venus stigma, and enjoys a healthy supportive friendship with a boy. What does she know that you don't?

 

Why is it so tricky? Society has always had rules about how to act in romantic relationships (flirt, date, get married, have babies) and rules about how to act in same-sex relationships (boys do stuff together, girls talk and share and talk and share), but it has very few guidelines when it comes to male-female friendships. Watch TV or go to the movies, and you'd swear unless they're on the road to romance, distinguishing between romantic, sexual, and friendly feelings is incredibly difficult.

 

Your parents grew up in a world where men and women were off limits to each other until marriage. In elementary school, you probably played only with the girls and whispered about the boys only as future dating possibilities. Because you never really knew guy friends, the obstacles to establish a friendship now seem overwhelming. Today, society is slowly learning how to treat both genders more equally. Guys are more willing to admit to some feminine characteristics, and girls are more willing to expose traditionally masculine characteristics like assertiveness. If men and women are to work, play, and coexist now and in the future, they must learn to communicate and understand each other.

 

So if it's true that girls spend the majority of their time together discussing thoughts and feelings, while boys gather to play sports or other group-related activities, why would you want guy friends? The girls we spoke to who have guy friends say that it's a refreshing change.

 

I love that my guy friend Paul isn't so sensitive about every little thing, says Jessica. It's a pleasure having an entire conversation without anyone mentioning their thighs. He's like a big brother...without the teasing. And I feel like I'm a fly on the locker room wall learning how the other side thinks. My guy friend makes all those boy mysteriesvideo games, why the guy I really like doesn't call me back, what's up with skateboardingcrystal clear.

 

My guy friend Rob laughs with me at dumb stuff no one else thinks is funny, explains Alison. He's a good sport about girly stuff, even rescuing me by standing in as my date to my cousin's wedding. And the fact that he's a gizmo genius who can install and upload anything in the world doesn't hurt. He's helped me double my songs on iTunes, updated my Facebook entry, and tricked out my cell phone. I love my guy friend as much as I do my best friend.

 

Wanna get one of these guy friends for yourself? One of the easiest ways to get to know a guy is to ask him questions...preferably about himself. Get involved in activities that you're both interested in. Don't approach him in front of his friends when peer pressure might interfere with how he responds. And don't take it personally if he's not up for the same kind of relationship you are. He is a boy, after all.

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SummerLuver17
SummerLuver17
Posted August 12, 2014
So this is the lesson I've learned from giving in too fast I can’t blame him for his reaction though; all of it was my fault. I opened up too soon to the wrong person, and in a certain sense, humiliated myself and gave him the opportunity to humiliate me too if he wanted. In less than a weekend I gave my heart to a person, and in less than a weekend he shattered it into a million pieces. No wonder it's hard to stay 'just friends’! It’s like sitting in a car with no wheels; sooner or later you realize you didn’t get anywhere and you end up with a lot of heartache. You can’t treat a guy like you would treat your best friend.
SummerLuver17
SummerLuver17
Posted August 12, 2014
Eventually, when the friendship fades, you regret revealing all those details. That’s what happened to me. He didn’t turn out to be what I thought. It’s funny how he began by flirting over silly things and then finishing it off harshly when he found out the truth. I don't want to contradict this article because it's true some guy-girl friends do turn out right, but sometimes the biggest mistake you can make with someone who's not your boyfriend is making him your sole confidant too soon.
Callmechey
Callmechey
Posted June 23, 2014
Thats what i love about my guy friend Charles.he lives down the street and i can ask\ tell him anything! Even my closest friends could easily "accidently" spill a secret but with Charles i dont have to worry.we went out once and both decided we were meant to be friend maybe more like best friends but we both decided we just weren't a love intrest for each other.he protect like a little sister.i know once *trigger warninf*y dad wasn't home and my mom was a work and i was watching my little sister.and like really bad magic mrs.flow paid me a visit.i called him freaking out!and what does he do go's and buys me tampons :* ever since then we've been closer then ever!!!!!
MiaPaige12
MiaPaige12
Posted July 24, 2014
I need help, there is this guy who used to have the biggest crush on me, and still does, but he has a girlfriend. I'm not allowed to date, but would like to hang out with him and get to know him as a friend. He's really polite and since he has a girlfriend, it wouldn't be like we were dating. We go to different schools, but are practically neighbors. I kinda like him, he really likes me, but he has a girlfriend. I want to get to know him as a FRIEND. Help!
SummerLuver17
SummerLuver17
Posted August 04, 2014
I feel so terrible now since yesterday. I don't know how I could have been so naive to trust a guy so fast with such personal information. At first I thought he was really nice and trustworthy, but now I totally regret telling him what I said. Now he can do either two things with that information: he can help me by keeping it private, or victimize me by spreading it to his many friends. I'm afraid it might be the second option because he's such an immature bigmouth who's always trying to be popular with the crowd. I don't know how I trusted him with this! I told him not to tell anyone else about our conversation...but how can I be so sure? I'm devastated!!!!!! My mom has no idea I went on a trip with him sitting in the front seat of the car, and he's older than me! I thought the fact that he'd laugh at me for silly things was cute, but now I realize I'm wrong..............................
Toot toot
Toot toot
Posted June 23, 2014
It doesn't matter if you have a guy friend. As long as your friends it doesn't matter. Also who cares what the popular girl or boy say. They mite say girls should have girls as friends or the boys might say boys should have guy friends. But no there wrong it doesn't matter but as long you communicate right and stay like friends
DValue
DValue
Posted March 30, 2014
well most of my friends are guys like 120 of them while only 5 of my friends are girls even though i have the biggest crush on a really good friend im sure that it is pretty easy having friends of the opposite gender
CuCu Birdie
CuCu Birdie
Posted May 30, 2014
OMG girls please! I have grown up in a group of boys since kindergarten! Who cares what the popular girls think? As long as they are nice boys, why can't they be your friend?!
Hooplaluvawesome
Hooplaluvawesome
Posted May 30, 2014
I have a guy friend named Jacquis and he's the best. It's so cool how it's not awkward, mostly because he's thirteen and I'm ten and because my best friend dated him and because he's like the older brother i never had.
deedee8511
deedee8511
Posted April 06, 2014
I have this one guy friend he's is really nice and funny we tease around also he's friends with my group of girls
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