Dear BeingGirl Experts,

OK, you have a boyfriend and your parents don't really think that you are old enough to date yet. They have told you before that it's okay that you hang out with guys and all, but they don't really want you dating them. But you are going into high school, and it's not like this is your first boyfriend or anything, but you want to do more with this guy so you need to tell your parents about it. What should you do—and what happens if they freak out and tell you that you can't have a boyfriend? I mean, they can't tell you everything for the rest of their lives, so what should you do?

Malone

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Dear Malone,

Talking to your parents about topics like dating takes some planning on your part. Preparing for this conversation ahead of time is important.

You need to decide on what you want them to agree to. In your case you have a boyfriend, and your parents don't really think you are old enough to date yet. They have told you before it is okay to hang out with guys and all, but they don't really want you dating them. You are going into high school and you want to do more with this guy, so you need to get your parents’ approval for this.

Next, understand it is okay to be nervous about having this conversation, and it’s okay for you to let your parents know how you are feeling. When you approach them make sure they aren’t preoccupied. You could start this by saying, “I’d like some time with you. I’ve been dreading this, but we need to have the discussion about me dating. I feel like I am ready, and I’d like to share why. Is now an okay time for this?

If they agree, this is when you lay out why you feel like you are ready to date. Don’t become argumentative when they don’t see something the way you do during your discussion. Just like you want them seeing it from your point of view, remember to look at this from their point of view too. Understand you might not get exactly what you ask for during the discussion. Instead of getting upset try to accept what your parents say gracefully. This will help your parents see you are growing up and might be more mature than they thought.

When your parents see you can handle your responsibilities and their guidance in a grown-up manner, they'll also recognize your social life can grow.

Good luck,

Your BeingGirl Experts