Are You Being Physically Abused?
Do you ever wonder if your relationship is getting too physical?
Does your boyfriend ever throw things at the wall or at you? Do you feel you can’t
do anything right for your boyfriend? It may not seem too bad, but research shows
that these small incidents are exactly how dangerous abusive relationships start.
Unfortunately, it can happen to anyone.
Every year, 4 million American women are involved in abusive
relationships. How does a relationship get to that point? What do you do if you
find yourself in a physically abusive relationship? Read below to find out about
abusive relationships and how you can get help.
How Does it Start?
Just as emotional abuse usually doesn't happen on the first
date, neither does physical abuse. It can happen at any time in a relationship and
most likely it develops later on into a relationship when the girl already feels
she likes the guy. If you fear your partner or have to watch what you say for risk
of an outburst, it’s not a healthy relationship. If you feel controlled or believe
that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated, it’s not a healthy relationship.
When Does it Get Bad?
Over time, the more it happens, the more he promises to stop.
He will continue to promise that it won’t happen again, but it does. And the more
a girl lets her abusive boyfriend get away with it and make excuses, the worse it
can get. Oftentimes, emotional abuse is connected to physical abuse. He tells her
it's her fault she's being hit. Her self-esteem goes down. As a result she continues
to stay in the relationship and the abuse continues.
Why Doesn’t She Talk About It?
It’s humiliating to talk about. If she really loves her boyfriend,
she hides it to protect him. If she tells someone, they will try to convince her
to break up with him. Of course, that’s not what she wants. The girl may believe
she can change him. Unfortunately, that’s rarely the case. It can be even worse
if he uses alcohol or drugs, which alter his state of mind.
If you think your relationship may be physically or emotionally
abusive, start taking steps to get outside help. Chances are very low that a guy
will change his behavior without professional assistance, such as therapy with a
psychiatrist. Sometimes therapy uncovers previous abuse that is a very difficult
habit to break on his own — even if he truly is sorry and wants to change.
It’s up to you to call attention to the problems and make
a change. Respect yourself and protect yourself from future abuse. You deserve to
be treated well. It’s not worth the risk of permanent injury. And even if the scars
disappear, how can you forget?
If you or someone you know is being physically or emotionally
abused, please take these steps NOW:
Get help. Talk to your school counselor, your doctor, your parents or another trusted
adult. If you feel your parents won't understand or if they, too, are in abusive
relationships, talk to a counselor or get help at a women's resource center.
Get out. Get out of the relationship any way you can. Don't let his apologies or
threats persuade you to stay with him. It's never your fault.
Cut all ties. He will continue to try to convince you he has changed. Breaking up
will be hard for you because you care about him. The best way to keep him away for
good is by cutting off all contact. Instead, make plans with friends who will build
you up, make you feel great and maybe introduce you to someone who treats you well
without hurting you.
You deserve a healthy, dependable relationship. Never accept
anything less. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship — physical or emotional
— talk to a trusted adult. The adult will help you take the necessary steps to get
on the right track to a healthy and enjoyable life!
Learn about abusive relationships and get tips for finding help at BeingGirl.com.