Are You Being Physically Abused? Do you ever wonder if your relationship is getting too physical? Does your boyfriend ever throw things at the wall or at you? Do you feel you can’t do anything right for your boyfriend? It may not seem too bad, but research shows that these small incidents are exactly how dangerous abusive relationships start. Unfortunately, it can happen to anyone.
Every year, 4 million American women are involved in abusive relationships. How does a relationship get to that point? What do you do if you find yourself in a physically abusive relationship? Read below to find out about abusive relationships and how you can get help.
How Does it Start? Just as emotional abuse usually doesn't happen on the first date, neither does physical abuse. It can happen at any time in a relationship and most likely it develops later on into a relationship when the girl already feels she likes the guy. If you fear your partner or have to watch what you say for risk of an outburst, it’s not a healthy relationship. If you feel controlled or believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated, it’s not a healthy relationship.
When Does it Get Bad? Over time, the more it happens, the more he promises to stop. He will continue to promise that it won’t happen again, but it does. And the more a girl lets her abusive boyfriend get away with it and make excuses, the worse it can get. Oftentimes, emotional abuse is connected to physical abuse. He tells her it's her fault she's being hit. Her self-esteem goes down. As a result she continues to stay in the relationship and the abuse continues.
Why Doesn’t She Talk About It? It’s humiliating to talk about. If she really loves her boyfriend, she hides it to protect him. If she tells someone, they will try to convince her to break up with him. Of course, that’s not what she wants. The girl may believe she can change him. Unfortunately, that’s rarely the case. It can be even worse if he uses alcohol or drugs, which alter his state of mind.
Getting Help If you think your relationship may be physically or emotionally abusive, start taking steps to get outside help. Chances are very low that a guy will change his behavior without professional assistance, such as therapy with a psychiatrist. Sometimes therapy uncovers previous abuse that is a very difficult habit to break on his own — even if he truly is sorry and wants to change.
It’s up to you to call attention to the problems and make a change. Respect yourself and protect yourself from future abuse. You deserve to be treated well. It’s not worth the risk of permanent injury. And even if the scars disappear, how can you forget?
If you or someone you know is being physically or emotionally abused, please take these steps NOW:
Get help. Talk to your school counselor, your doctor, your parents or another trusted adult. If you feel your parents won't understand or if they, too, are in abusive relationships, talk to a counselor or get help at a women's resource center.
Get out. Get out of the relationship any way you can. Don't let his apologies or threats persuade you to stay with him. It's never your fault.
Cut all ties. He will continue to try to convince you he has changed. Breaking up will be hard for you because you care about him. The best way to keep him away for good is by cutting off all contact. Instead, make plans with friends who will build you up, make you feel great and maybe introduce you to someone who treats you well without hurting you.
You deserve a healthy, dependable relationship. Never accept anything less. If you find yourself in an abusive relationship — physical or emotional — talk to a trusted adult. The adult will help you take the necessary steps to get on the right track to a healthy and enjoyable life! Learn about abusive relationships and get tips for finding help at BeingGirl.com.